Everything I am and all of my successes I owe to God. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of that. After my firstborn child died in my arms, I felt like God abandoned me. Eventually, I had another premature child and I fought every single day for seven and a half months to keep her alive.
I endured so much physically and mentally to keep her alive. Hospital bedrest for three months, surgery to try and keep my cervix from reopening, weekly injections with a hormone cocktail, another medicine that I had to take every four hours, so I never ended up getting a full night’s rest. Oh, and how can I forget that while in the hospital I got Bells Palsy? To cure that, I had to take another medicine for a couple weeks which caused my blood sugar spike, so I had to get my fingers pricked four times a day for a week to test my blood! If my blood sugar was too high, I had to get a shot of insulin. Plus, the nonstop monitors and IV’s that were attached to me. Not to mention, the emotional and mental torture of every single day wondering if my daughter was going to live or die.
Eventually, everything turned out ok. My daughter was still premature, born 6 ½ weeks early, and weighed less than five pounds, but she got healthy so quickly that she was out of the NICU and home with me in eight days!
For about eight years, I attributed my miracle baby to science, the skill of the amazing doctors and nurses, and my own personal strength and perseverance.
A few years later, I got divorced. It was hard at first, but I got through it and was happier than ever. I attributed that to my friends helping me and my own strength again. I was very overweight for years, and within 1 year lost over 50 pounds. Again, I attributed that to my own strength and determination, thinking that I was some sort of superwoman who had amazing strength of will… I was so blind at the time!
Now, I realize that I survived all of that because God was helping me. He gave me the strength, will, and determination to make it through those hard times. He put the right people in my life to save my daughter’s life and to help me through all the emotional and mental challenges that faced me. He placed Mr. Right in my life to show me all of the other talents that I have been blessed with and to learn to love myself. That relationship also taught me patience, forgiveness, and unconditional love. God gave me all the opportunities that I have ever had. All of my successes are due to Him. I hope I can remember to thank Him every day and stay humble, while enjoying all the amazing people and gifts He has given me.