While being my father’s caregiver as he suffered from Alzheimer’s disease, there were many hard lessons I had to learn. One example that stands out in my mind is the hardship of keeping doctors’ appointments. I truly don’t believe we ever had even one such date go smoothly.
Once trying to kill two birds with one stone, I tried scheduling an appointment for myself at the same time since both our doctors were in the same building. Big mistake. I had Dad checked in to see his physician first and then I asked the nurse or receptionist to please keep an eye on him while I walked down the hall to my examination room. When I returned, Dad was nowhere to be found! If my blood pressure wasn’t high before it was certainly off the charts now! Dashing out the main door I found him roaming the parking lot, a very dangerous place for anyone living with dementia. The anxiety that results from a foray like this can actually last for days.
My advice here is this: If at all possible, have a third party accompany you to appointments of any kind. This way, if you need to speak with the doctor in private or even use the bathroom alone, the extra person can attend to your loved one.
Another deep concern that I have is a very common complaint I hear from fellow caregivers: “I’m not receiving enough help from our doctor.” I certainly understand their vexation. I found myself switching doctors several times myself. It’s my opinion that since there is no cure for Alzheimers, some physicians become stagnant and blase’. They are simply not aggressive enough. They don’t seem to realize that there are two people in need of care—the patient and the caregiver.
Please know it’s extremely difficult switching to a new doctor. There’s a feeling of security in staying with the same one for a lengthy period of time. Then there is also a concern—thoughtful, but misguided—about hurting the doctor’s feelings after building a doctor-patient relationship. You will need to get over this.
If it should become necessary to find a new doctor, make every attempt to be sure that expectations can be reasonably met. Caregivers become overtired and worn down, so only make this decision with careful thought when well-rested.
There is another reason for choosing the optimal opportunity for this new direction. Be aware that changing physicians will be time consuming and may incur additional costs such as copying and transferring medical files along with requiring new lab tests.
Your first question to yourself should be, “What type of doctor treats patients’ living with dementia?” A primary care physician should be able to handle most of your needs; however, should you need a specialist for other medical concerns, be assured that neurologists, geriatric psychiatrists and geriatricians, ideally, all receive training in the evaluation and treatment of memory disorders. If you’re looking for a memory assessment clinic, contact your local Alzheimer’s Association Chapter for a list of doctors, tests and other helpful information.
In essence, my suggestions to you is, if there have been problems, see if you can iron things out with your doctor first before switching. Remember that any type of change is difficult for a dementia patient. Ask for a moment alone with your physician in these circumstances, in order to explain how you feel and what changes need to be made to best care for your patient. If your doctor is not willing to listen and consider your concerns, you have your answer! Find one that will.
Mr. Gary Joseph LeBlanc is a health columnist specializing in dementia care. He has authored over 350 articles on the subject.